Defense Mechanisms
Our bodies work really hard to protect us. Our immune system mobilizes itself to protect us from infection. When we trip and fall, our sense of balance and reflexes kick in to minimize the risk of a broken bone. Our nervous system registers pain when we touch a hot pan to protect us from burns. In the same way our bodies are skilled protectors, our minds work just as hard to protect us from relational and emotional dangers. As we discussed in an earlier post, we have emotional as well as physical needs that must be met for our survival. We need others to survive and so our longing for connection and belonging isn’t just surplus. It is a biological need that reminds us that we can’t survive on our own. Think of babies; they depend on their parents to do everything for them. Without others, they couldn’t eat, sleep, keep themselves clean, or protect themselves from danger. Our physical security and safety is deeply related to our connection to others. Because of this, our brain has developed some sophisticated (and not so sophisticated) ways of protecting us from all kinds of threats: threats to relational connections, threats to our physical or emotional safety, threats to our sense of self.
One way that our brains protect us is through something called defense mechanisms. The term was coined by Sigmund Freud and further developed by his daughter who was also a psychologist. But the mechanisms themselves have existed as long as humans have. They are our brains’ attempt to squash the inner conflict that arises when something upsets us. Defense mechanisms are an important way of regulating ourselves and maintaining inner stability. But like any useful tool, applied incorrectly or relied on too heavily and they can be harmful. Defense mechanisms range in effectiveness and maturity, but the important thing is to better understand them so that we can channel them most effectively. Here are a list of the defense mechanisms that came up most commonly in my research with a brief explanation and example.
Sublimation: channeling internal conflict or emotional distress into socially acceptable outlets.
Example: channeling anger and aggression into playing sports, or channeling feelings of hopelessness and depression into writing songs or creating a graphic novel.
Suppression: setting worries or internal conflict aside temporarily in order to accomplish the task at hand
Example: A man and his girlfriend get in a fight right before they’re due at a friend’s party. They agree to set aside their anger so they can have a nice time at the party and revisit their anger afterwards.
Humor: focusing on the amusing aspects of a stressful situation in a way that brings others in and cuts the tension
Intellectualization: avoiding emotions by interacting with a situation only at the cognitive level
Example: Someone recounts the story of his house catching on fire and the fire department coming to put it out. He gives the facts in an emotionally detached way and may respond to sympathy with positive thinking.
Repression: Removing distressing experiences or urges from conscious awareness. An emotional reaction may be conscious but the reason behind it or associated experience is repressed.
Example: A woman feels irritated when her friend becomes emotionally needy. She is not aware that it resembles past situations when her mother became emotionally needy and expected her to take care of things as a child.
Reaction Formation: When someone has an unacceptable impulse and they respond in the exact opposite manner.
Example: A man has feelings for his coworker and is jealous when she starts telling him about her date. Instead of responding jealously, he acts excited for her and tells her she should go on another date.
Displacement: taking out one’s feelings on someone or something less threatening than the real target
Example: A man is berated by his boss at work and he takes out his frustration on his kids when he gets home.
Denial: Refusing to acknowledge aspects of one’s external reality
Example: A child is in denial that cold weather has come and continues to wear shorts and flip flops in protest.
Rationalization: Self-justification or devising self-assuring explanations to ease guilt or personal discomfort with a situation.
Example: A boy steals his classmate’s candy and tells himself that it’s not that big of a deal because his classmate has so much candy at home.
Projection: attributing one’s own threatening or difficult impulses or emotions to others and calling attention to it in them while denying it in oneself.
Example: A woman accuses her friend of being critical and insecure for bringing up a concern about their friendship.
Autistic Fantasy: Using daydreaming as a substitute for engaging in real relationships or solving problems.
Example: A kid daydreams about beating up his bully in front of the whole school but doesn’t defend himself or tell any adults when the bully continues to harass him.
Acting Out: Expressing emotion or internal conflict with uncontrolled and often destructive behavior without any care for the consequences
Example: A woman gets angry at the barista who gets her coffee order wrong and angrily makes a scene.
Regression: Reverting to earlier stages of development that have been outgrown in the face of a frightening or distressing situation
Example: A 10-year-old begins sucking her thumb after losing her mom to cancer.
Compensation: Making up for or distracting from an area of inadequacy or insecurity by overachieving in another area
Example: A man feels insecure about being short, so he compensates by being outgoing and flirtatious.
Splitting Self/Other Image: Dealing with difficult emotions or distress by viewing self or another person as all good or all bad.
Example: A student villainizes a professor who gives him a bad grade and sees her as a terrible teacher.
So What?
Now that you’ve had an introduction to the most common defense mechanisms, you may be asking, “That’s interesting, but what good does it do me?” Here’s were understanding and awareness come in. The more you understand defense mechanisms – what they are, what their function is, when they are helpful and unhelpful – the more agency you have in your life. Whatever we aren’t aware of has the ability to control us. Heightening your awareness puts you in the driver seat of your life. Use the following questions as a reflection exercise to increase your awareness of your own defense mechanisms.
Reflection Questions
Identify a defense mechanism that you use often. Recount a time in your life when it’s surfaced.
What emotion(s) was connected to that defense mechanism?
What was the threat? What need was it threatening?
How did that defense mechanism protect you?
What did it cost you?
Was it appropriate given the situation? If not, what could you have done instead?
References
My summary introduction to defense mechanisms was drawn from these much more thorough sources. If you want to learn more in depth about defense mechanisms, these sites are a great place to start.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.718440/full
https://mind.help/topic/defense-mechanisms/
https://www.verywellmind.com/defense-mechanisms-2795960
https://helpfulprofessor.com/defense-mechanisms-examples/